"Everybody wants the life of a black man."

I agree. So much is expected of black men. They are expected to be good sons to their fathers, to respect their mothers, to look out for their brothers, to protect their sisters, to love their wives, to care for their daughters, to teach their sons, and all the while be true to themselves. And hell, I think most do a really good job considering how much that is to juggle. My daddy especially. Song of Solomon allows the reader to see how much responsibility there really is in being a man of color by presenting Milkman, a man who takes responsibility for nothing. The fact is, although one may be dealt a mediocre hand in life, you have to take it for what it is, suck it up, and keep going. You know, roll with the punches.

So think about the pressure, how much responsibility sits on the shoulders of these men. With so much to prove, no wonder young black men are the ones so quick to pull guns on each other. What is even more amazing and unfortunate than interracial gang violence, is what's going on with gay black men in cities like Atlanta, Georgia. In Atlanta, being a gay black man is generally frowned upon by others, especially other men. So, many are super secretive about their lifestyles and relationships. In fact, they are secretive to the point that many will have relations with other men but pretend 'it's a one time thing' or lie about how many partners they have had. Even more upsetting is many will be too frightened to go get tested for HIV/AIDS and many of those that do, won't tell anyone but will continue to have intercourse. Think about that.

I think Song of Solomon should be required reading for every black male. Really, for everyone. Read it. I even found something specifically for myself within it's pages. Perfect timing Toni.

"The engine of the old car he'd borrowed roared, but Guitar spoke softly to her. "You think because he doesn't love you that you are worthless. You think because he doesn't want you anymore that he is right--that his judgment and opinion of you are correct. If he throws you out, then you are garbage. You think he belongs to you because you want to belong to him. Hagar, don't. It's a bad word, 'belong.' Especially when you put it with somebody you love. Love shouldn't be like that. Did you ever see the way the clouds love a mountain? They circle all around it; sometimes you can't even see the mountain for the clouds. But you know what? You go up top and what do you see? His head. The clouds never cover the head. His head pokes through because the clouds let him; they don't wrap him up. They let him keep his head up high, free, with nothing to hide him or bind him. Hear me, Hagar?" He spoke to her as he would to a very young child. "You can't own a human being. You can't lose what you don't own. Suppose you did own him. Could you really love somebody who was absolutely nobody without you? You really want somebody like that? Somebody who falls apart when you walk out the door? You don't, do you? And neither does he. You're turning over your whole life to him. Your whole life, girl. And if it means so little to you that you can give it away, hand it to him, then why should it mean any more to him? He can't value you more than you value yourself." He stopped. She did not move or give any sign that she had heard him."

I hear you. Thanks girl.

I started Tar Baby yesterday and it's noticeably a much, much harder read. And I hate it already. However, it's my mother's favorite other than The Bluest Eye and I hated Song of Solomon until I got about halfway through, so there's still hope. Three and one-third down, five and two-thirds to go.

Chinwe